**4) Did not listen to criticism for not participating in the conflict -Criticism for not participating in the conflict**

Listener: During the organized movement, did any of your peers say to you, "Why are you not participating with us?"

Yamamoto: I was not directly scolded like that.

Nevertheless, I had a new acquaintance who said to me, "You are still young and energetic and can do what others can do too. Why are you not participating? Shouldn't you also join the fight and put in even a small effort to improve your own living situation?"

#### **-Circumstances without freedom; since freedom was in vain, I chose an opportunistic, non-political course**

Despite someone saying that to me, I did not join the activities, thinking, "What's the point now? I've been hurtled into these circumstances without freedom where I can't leave the island, and I have no future, dreams, or hopes of my own. No

**267**

*Spirituality and Hansen's Disease: Spirituality' Conceptual Structure and Hansen's Disease...*

**5) Guilt at reaping the benefits of the conflict without effort -Guilt at just reaping the benefits instead of joining the conflict**

**-No medical care; can I secure my own life with meager care?**

matter what I do, it will be in vain, so I'll just let the people who want to participate

Nevertheless, after things became a little better, I was unable to enjoy those improvements. This is because I often felt guilty that I was benefiting from the work

One of the severe conditions was that, despite being a national sanatorium, there was no medical care. Now, we are all getting old and becoming immobile and there are pressing issues with nursing and caretaking, but when I first arrived, I was young and healthy. Even though I did not suffer in from this disease at the time, there was no care for when I got sick, and so there was a constant uneasy undercurrent over how I would secure my own life amidst this meager medical care. By chance, I have made it to today without getting sick very much, so in that sense I

**4. Whether to have a reunion after 65 years with school friends—too much** 

**-A school friend saw me appear on television and recognized me; invited me** 

There is a Hansen's disease forum in Tokushima this year. I sometimes make short appearances on television, so there were people who thought, "Th… that's Yamamoto!" and recognized me. They're already 80 years old and past the mandatory retirement age. One person ended up becoming the principal of an elementary school. Another graduated from one of the national universities and became a school principal. During high school, we were in a group of five buddies who were

**-Classmates steadily progressed through lives of their own choosing, while I have been groaning at the bottom of the ravine of life; I thought perhaps it** 

**-I was the only dropout; could not leave no matter how much I struggled; was** 

Of our group of five, one person had worked at a bank and retired when he reached the mandatory age. Another person, who was the smartest of us, was someone I expected to look beyond our local university, and just as I thought he had

23) In the end, I fell off the cart along the way and the other four all graduated from college. I was miserable that I was the only one who did not make it. Since I could not leave here no matter how much I struggled, I had no inclination to do anything and felt only resignation. Getting this illness really stained everything and nothing could be done about it, because one way or another it all ends up like this. I was invited to our class reunion, and some of those in our group said they went. I was glad I did not go. Even if somebody had become the prime minister, all I would

These two former classmates contacted me and said, "Let's meet up" at our hometown. This was really depressing. When this sort of thing occurs, you are forced to look at the past. My schoolmates have been steadily progressing through lives of their own choosing, have at least followed their own paths, and are now practically ready to graduate from life. My own circumstances just involved groaning at the bottom of the ravine of life until my own time of graduation came. I thought, "There's no point in meeting. What will we talk about?" I was full of

worries like that. "I should just not meet with them," I decided.

have to say to them would be, "How are you doing?" [Laughs].

attended one of the former Imperial universities.

*DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.92735*

of others at their expense.

have been very blessed.

**to see each other**

always together.

**miserable**

**would be better not to meet**

**of a difference in the paths we have taken**

do so. I'll be opportunistic and stay non-political."

**6) No medical care—how can I protect my life?**

*Spirituality and Hansen's Disease: Spirituality' Conceptual Structure and Hansen's Disease... DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.92735*

matter what I do, it will be in vain, so I'll just let the people who want to participate do so. I'll be opportunistic and stay non-political."

### **5) Guilt at reaping the benefits of the conflict without effort**

#### **-Guilt at just reaping the benefits instead of joining the conflict**

Nevertheless, after things became a little better, I was unable to enjoy those improvements. This is because I often felt guilty that I was benefiting from the work of others at their expense.

#### **6) No medical care—how can I protect my life?**

#### **-No medical care; can I secure my own life with meager care?**

One of the severe conditions was that, despite being a national sanatorium, there was no medical care. Now, we are all getting old and becoming immobile and there are pressing issues with nursing and caretaking, but when I first arrived, I was young and healthy. Even though I did not suffer in from this disease at the time, there was no care for when I got sick, and so there was a constant uneasy undercurrent over how I would secure my own life amidst this meager medical care. By chance, I have made it to today without getting sick very much, so in that sense I have been very blessed.

### **4. Whether to have a reunion after 65 years with school friends—too much of a difference in the paths we have taken**

#### **-A school friend saw me appear on television and recognized me; invited me to see each other**

There is a Hansen's disease forum in Tokushima this year. I sometimes make short appearances on television, so there were people who thought, "Th… that's Yamamoto!" and recognized me. They're already 80 years old and past the mandatory retirement age. One person ended up becoming the principal of an elementary school. Another graduated from one of the national universities and became a school principal. During high school, we were in a group of five buddies who were always together.
