**-He had a normal mind so he killed himself; I have an abnormal mind so I could callously live in a place like this**

12) Around the time when I arrived, there were a number of older people who hanged themselves on a pine tree. I thought, "Ah, that one has a normal mind." I'm still alive here, having gotten this illness and having to live out my life in this small space, and I cannot see suicide as the answer. I simply cannot. I felt that, since there is an abnormality in my mind somewhere, I can keep living callously even in a place like this."

**4) I became sick when I was full of enthusiasm for the future**
