**3. The process of recovering from spiritual pain for a Hansen's disease survivor**

Mr. Yamamoto's recovery from spiritual pain can be seen at two turning points. The first, when he visited the Tokyo office of the National Hansen's Disease Council at 48 years. The second, when he discovered his love for ceramics at the age of 60. These turning points, respectively, came about 30 years after his diagnosis at 15 years and entering the sanatorium at 19 years.

The analysis of his recovery from spiritual pain was conducted in the same way as the analysis of construction of spiritual pain. His life review about recovering from spiritual pain is omitted because of lack of space. The process of Mr. Yamamoto's recovery from spiritual pain is shown in **Figure 3**.

#### **3.1 What sustained Mr. Takahisa Yamamoto through the suffering?**

Mr. Yamamoto's spiritual pain indicated a negative cycle: I cannot set out on my own and carve out my life→Crashed by despair→I want to die→I cannot die easily→slapdash・Nihilistic→I do not deserve to be alive →I ask myself why am I alive→Self-criticism. The first period of sustained suffering of 30 years was for the affection of his family. He had no one to blame for his sickness and he had no opportunity other than to vent to his mother. He blamed his mother; she accepted his lashing and continued to visit him regularly. His brothers could not tell their spouses and children about his disease, but his sisters visited and expressed their affection as they felt sorry for him. In his married life, his unrelenting misconduct had an impact on his wife, but her maturity and common sense prevented the marriage from breaking. In addition, the elders in Oshima Residents' Committee and the group for the blind continued to care for him even though he did not have a good reputation in the patient community in Oshima Seisho-en.

The second period of suffering was seen in his gambling and the glimmers of love with a student nurse during his adolescence. Gambling brought momentary pleasure and helped him to forget the despair temporarily; therefore, he got the opportunity to let off some of the negative energy from the negative cycle.

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island in 1953, and this brought a little pleasure in his insipid life.

**3.2 Relieving sufferings; preparing to accept turning points**

In addition, he met a nurse from the nursing school that was established in Oshima

Although the turning points in his life occurred about 30 years after entering the sanatorium, for about 10 to 20 years, the negative cycle did not change, and gradually the feeling of despair decreased. Mr. Yamamoto said "Forgetting was the greatest weapon to survival and the insight that eased suffering," maybe this indicated that he was on the path of healing. In addition, as the suffering eased, he reflected "If I stay at sanatorium, I will just die a dog's death. Is this really good?"

The first turning point was the visit to the Tokyo office of the National Hansen's

Disease Council. This opportunity was created by the elders in the Residents' committee. As they had looked after him during his period of suffering, they could notice his reflection and the internal changes. They knew that they could change the flow of his life in anticipation of the better times ahead; therefore, they are referred to as "bellwethers." In addition, his wife and the head of the group for the blind agreed that this would be a chance to change his life. This was contrary to his expectations and it encouraged him. Mr. Yamamoto himself was ready to proceed to the next step by reflecting that it was time for a change, but he did not have the

Living in Tokyo was a fulfilling experience for him. He negotiated with the government and did his best to not harm the reputation of the Oshima Residents' committee. On vacations, his good friends took them for sightseeing in their car and

After 4 years here, his friends at the sanatorium, who were waiting for him to come back said "Are you just going to abandon us?" and Mr. Yamamoto and his wife resolved to return to the sanatorium. After returning, he was elevated to the position of the Residents' Committee's chairman in the sanatorium. This implied that he was expected to be a leader and was given a position where he could use his experience. This was a sign of approval from his friends and associates and a way of

The second turning point was his introduction to "ceramics" (see **Figure 4**). When he entered the sanatorium, there were no elderly patients. Therefore, he had not expected to live to the age of 50; this strengthened his despair and he turned to gambling to dissipate the negative energy. After he crossed the age of 50, he realized that he still did not seem to be ready to die. A budget was allocated for residents' recreational activities for the first time. He did not have any hobbies, because he believed that anything that he attempted would end up being merely half-baked. At this point, he thought that "if I will continue to live, then I will try new things." In addition, he was also afraid of developing dementia and becoming a burden on

Making ceramics brought him pleasure as he realized that he could create something from a lump of earth. It gave him fulfillment that could be compared to the same that he got from gambling. This could temporarily make him forget the

his wife enjoyed this time as well. She also led a fulfilling life in Tokyo.

**3.4 Turning point 2: meeting a friend for life (ceramics)**

others. This is when he stared making ceramics.

*DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.92735*

and he started to review himself objectively.

power to make the change in his flow of life.

expressing gratitude.

**3.3 Turning point 1: changing the flow of life**

#### **Figure 3.**

*Recovery from spiritual pain of Hansen's disease survivor, Mr. Takahisa Yamamoto.*

In addition, he met a nurse from the nursing school that was established in Oshima island in 1953, and this brought a little pleasure in his insipid life.
