**1. Introduction**

"A person is bullied when he or she is exposed, repeatedly and over time, to negative actions on the part of one or more other persons, and he or she has difficulty defending himself or herself" [1]. This is commonly accepted definition for bullying given by Dan Olweus, editor of the Olweus Bullying Prevention Program [2]. Instead, a synthetic and effective definition is

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that of Sharp and Smith [3] that speaks of "peer abuse," that is, social relationships between friends based on power and control roles. This phenomenon is characterized by aggressive behavior repeated over time. Shelley and Swearer [4] underlined that the pioneering contribution of Olweus [5–7] has allowed to define this social problem as a subcategory of interpersonal aggression characterized by intentionality, repetition and an imbalance of power, distinguishing bullying from other forms of violence [8–17]. In detail, its characteristics are given as follows:

tendency to anxiety or poor self-esteem, on the contrary bully often has a positive image of

I Teach You to Quarrel - Empathy and Mediation: Tools for Preventing Bullying

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Passive bullies are those who participate in bullying without actively taking part and usually take on the role of gregarious, followers or sobers. Each bully is surrounded by at least two to three peoples who act as supporters. Bullying causes a series of disease that if they persist in time they can turn into dramatic situations as well. In fact, according to some researches there is a relationship between bullying and suicidal behaviors [11, 30, 31]. It seems to be many factors: the presence of self-reliant behavior during the previous year seems to be the most important predictor for the subsequent appearance of suicidal behaviors in all the groups of subjects being examined that were involved in bullying episodes (victims, bullies and persecutory victims) [11]. In addition, recent research conducted in 168 schools throughout Europe focused on the study of what appears to be the main predictor of suicidal behavior in adolescents, namely self-injury [12]. All three types of bullying considered (physical, verbal, relational) are associated with the appearance of self-reliant behavior, both casual and repetitive, and gender effects have not been significant. Research shows that there is a relationship between bullying and depression, this relationship does not have a clear direction, that is, it is still unknown if boys who are bullied are depressed, or if depressed teenagers are more likely to be bullied [30]. Summarizing, in the victim, this leads to states of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, school dropouts and suicide in the most serious cases. In the bully, there is difficulty in awareness of their behaviors due to lack of sense of guilt

Bullying represents a social emergency not only to people directly involved (bullies and victims) but it is a problem that involves everyone, the whole society. The lack of awareness of their own emotions and the consequences of their actions and their inability to handle conflict with each other are two key points from which to start preventing. Bullying can be fought through the prevention, that is, information and training to prevent the phenomenon from arising and spreading, and intervention, that is care and support of all people

The bullying has been studied since 1973 by the Norwegian Dan Olweus and since 1991 in England by Peter K. Smith. In Italy in 1995, researchers [33–42] started researches about it and confirmed the presence of this social problem in different Italian contexts and cultural and social backgrounds. Ada Fonzi [33] reported that in Italy 41% of children attending elementary schools was victims of bullying and compared to those of other European countries, 27%

The Italian National Institute for Statistics (ISTAT), the main supplier of official statistical information in Italy, published the latest bullying data [43], just over 50% of 11–17-yearolds has suffered some episode of offensive, disrespectful and/or violent by other boys or girls in the previous 12 months. A 19.8% is a victim of one of the "typical" acts of bullying,

in England, 20% in Canada, 15% in Spain, 6% in Finland, respectively.

itself [1, 2].

and empathy.

involved [32].

**2. How prevalent is bullying?**


Bullying has always existed, but was once considered to be a natural manifestation of aggression experienced by young people linked to a process of growth and maturity, but today, it is known as a real social emergency. Bullying comes from a series of factors, such as culture, stereotypes, family, school, social networking, individual characteristics and ways of managing emotions and conflicts [10, 12, 18].

Offensive action can be exercised in a variety of ways: through the use of the word (offenses, teasing, threats) by resorting to physical force and contact (in these cases, it is referred to as direct bullying), talking badly about him/her with other comrades (indirect bullying) or excluding the victim from the group using social pain caused by social exclusion [20–23]. The experience of social exclusion is distressing and can induce people to feel strong negative feelings. In fact, the emotion more associated with low perceived relational value, compromised interpersonal relationship or exclusion experience is called "hurt feelings" [19]. Neuroscientists discovered that during the experience of social exclusion, the brain areas involved in this interpersonal condition are similar to those of physical pain [20–27], these results may explain why people report negative feelings and that they are "hurt" when other people devalue or excluded them.

The experience of social exclusion, even more bullying, may cause various emotional, psychological and interpersonal consequences. For example, the victim usually appears as an anxious and insecure person who suffers from poor self-esteem and tends to have a negative self-esteem. These kids at school are usually isolated and have few friends inside the classroom. The passive or submissive victim, in particular, seems incapable and insecure to react in the face of insults, has a reactive model of anxious behavior, submissive and associated with physical weakness, ability to assert themselves [28–31].

Bully is usually characterized by the use of aggression, which in some cases does not only address mates, but also parents and teachers. It has an impulsive behavior and deficit of empathy for its victims. According to Olweus, at the base of violent behavior, there is no tendency to anxiety or poor self-esteem, on the contrary bully often has a positive image of itself [1, 2].

Passive bullies are those who participate in bullying without actively taking part and usually take on the role of gregarious, followers or sobers. Each bully is surrounded by at least two to three peoples who act as supporters. Bullying causes a series of disease that if they persist in time they can turn into dramatic situations as well. In fact, according to some researches there is a relationship between bullying and suicidal behaviors [11, 30, 31]. It seems to be many factors: the presence of self-reliant behavior during the previous year seems to be the most important predictor for the subsequent appearance of suicidal behaviors in all the groups of subjects being examined that were involved in bullying episodes (victims, bullies and persecutory victims) [11]. In addition, recent research conducted in 168 schools throughout Europe focused on the study of what appears to be the main predictor of suicidal behavior in adolescents, namely self-injury [12]. All three types of bullying considered (physical, verbal, relational) are associated with the appearance of self-reliant behavior, both casual and repetitive, and gender effects have not been significant. Research shows that there is a relationship between bullying and depression, this relationship does not have a clear direction, that is, it is still unknown if boys who are bullied are depressed, or if depressed teenagers are more likely to be bullied [30]. Summarizing, in the victim, this leads to states of anxiety, depression, low self-esteem, school dropouts and suicide in the most serious cases. In the bully, there is difficulty in awareness of their behaviors due to lack of sense of guilt and empathy.

Bullying represents a social emergency not only to people directly involved (bullies and victims) but it is a problem that involves everyone, the whole society. The lack of awareness of their own emotions and the consequences of their actions and their inability to handle conflict with each other are two key points from which to start preventing. Bullying can be fought through the prevention, that is, information and training to prevent the phenomenon from arising and spreading, and intervention, that is care and support of all people involved [32].
