**1.1 Learning disabilities**

For a difficulty to be defined as LD, the following criteria must exist [1]:

	- Lack of precision or slowness when reading words, such as inaccurate reading, word guessing, and pronunciation difficulties.
	- Difficulty comprehending reading, such as inability to comprehend sequences or relationships, despite precise reading
	- Difficulty spelling, such as omitting, or switching letters.
	- Difficulty with written expression, such as multiple grammatical errors.
	- Difficulty with the command of numbers, numerical facts, and calculations, such as confusion while calculating.
	- Difficulty with mathematical conclusions, such as significant difficulties implementing mathematical terms or procedures.

The National Joint Committee on Learning Disabilities [2] defines LD as "a general term that refers to a heterogeneous group of disorders manifested by significant difficulties in the acquisition and use of listening, speaking, reading, writing, reasoning, or mathematical abilities. These disorders are intrinsic to the individual, presumed to be due to central nervous system dysfunction, and may occur across the life span."

According to the DSM-5 [1], the term LD should be used for describing impaired academic functioning seen in reading (precision, fluency, or reading comprehension), writing (spelling or written expression), and mathematics (command of the meaning of numbers, numerical facts, or mathematical reasoning.)

The frequency of LD has increased over the past decades. Dor Haim [3] claims that the increasing number of children in Israel diagnosed with LD each year now includes about 15% of the population. The percent of individuals diagnosed with LD differs between countries, affecting about 5–15% of children and adolescents [1], with greater prevalence among boys [4]. These disabilities can be seen in these children's behavior and day interactions, impacting themselves and those interacting with them.

The literature presents a range of explanations and treatments for LD—depending on the discipline. For example, the cognitive paradigm describes LD as an

*How Frustrating It Can Be? Raising up a Child with Learning Disabilities DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.112293*

impairment of the neurological system that creates specific difficulties in components of information processing, such as storage and coding. As such, treatment emphasizes implementing learning strategies and improving information processing capabilities, with the aim of helping learners overcome and compensate for faulty cognitive processes. On the other hand, the behavior paradigm focuses on building bypasses that provide learners with techniques for improving their LD, such as using effective learning methods [5]. Alternatively, the neuro-psychological paradigm explains LD as stemming from an impaired stage of early-life neurological development. As such, treatment should entail drugs [6]. From a constructivist point-of-view, the term LD stems from social constructionism of the terms "difficulty" and "disability" and touches upon the changing relationships between humans and the culture they are a part of. As such, LD is subject to the cultural and technological influence of society. As such, differences may be seen with regard to the society in which the LD learner lives [7]. LD and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) are common among children and adolescents, becoming a significant emotional and financial burden for the parents. The education system deals in this issue frequently, through the training of teachers, counselors, and psychologist [6].

#### **1.2 Types of learning disabilities**

According to The Israeli Ministry of Education [8], LD includes the following disabilities: dyslexia, dysgraphia, dyscalculia, and ADHD. *Dyslexia* is a reading disorder that prevents learners from acquiring reading skills despite their normal mental ability. This includes difficulty decoding, processing, and comprehending written texts. Children with dyslexia tend to read slowly and imprecisely [9]. *Dysgraphia* is a learning disorder that interferes with acquiring writing skills despite the learner's mental abilities. This includes multiple spelling mistakes, incorrect use of grammar rules, and punctuation marks. Children with dysgraphia tend to invest great time and effort when writing, and are unable to keep up with their classwork, and their handwriting is illegible [9]. *Dyscalculia* is a learning disorder that interferes with performing mathematical calculations. This includes omitting numbers when calculating or replacing the plus sign with a minus. Children with dyscalculia tend to lose concentration while calculating and have difficulty deciphering numerical symbols [10].

To date, ADHD is one of the most widespread neurological and psychiatric disorders among children—impacting their emotional and behavioral development, as well as their familial, social, and academic future [11]. Although ADHD is prevalent among children, symptoms do continue among 50% of these children during their adulthood [12].

Children diagnosed with ADHD often present educational, behavioral, and social difficulties that negatively impact the quality of life of themselves and their families [4]. In addition, these children's normal development depends on a number of factors, including their environment, related illnesses, and quality of treatment provided. However, if suitable treatment is administered, these children could develop normally, becoming more apt at dealing with rules and requirements, even being able to realize their full potential as adults [13].

To be diagnosed with ADHD, symptoms must appear before the age of 12, significantly affect at least two aspects, such as social, academic, or professional, and cannot be explained by other psychiatric disorders [1]. The child must also meet at least six of the following criteria: difficulty paying attention to details, difficulty concentrating on a task or game over time, seems not to be listening when approached, does not follow orders and has difficulty finishing an academic task, has organizational

difficulties in new situations, avoids participating in activities that require thinking, loses personal items, is easily distracted, and if forgetful in daily activities.

Signs of ADHD include standing up and walking around in situations that require concentration, running and climbing in inappropriate situations, difficulty complying with instructions during sports and other games, and seems to be activated by a motor: overtalking, impulsively answering before hearing the entire question, difficulty waiting in line, and interrupting and taunting others [1].

#### **1.3 Children with LD at school**

Reading, writing, and mathematics are the main skills that children acquire when first at school, and they lay the foundation for their academic success. However, despite their average or above-average intelligence, children with LD or ADHD often find it difficult to maintain the academic level of their peers [14].

Renee [14] defines academic failure as a pattern that is typical and constant throughout the life of learners with LD or ADHD. Such adolescents struggle in academic environments from kindergarten to higher education institutions. The difficulties they encounter affect their self-esteem; difficulties at school result in their doubting their capabilities, which in turn leads to decreased self-esteem [15]. Despite their efforts, failure is a constant in their lives—frequently resulting in complete lack of motivation to succeed at school [3, 14].

Ongoing academic difficulties also lead to social and behavioral withdrawal. As such, these learners require a comprehensive support system provided by their significant adult others—i.e., teachers, the school, parents, and additional family members [16]. However, these support systems must focus on providing these learners with tools for enhancing their personal growth—to help them learn to express themselves—and tools for dealing with frustration and challenges [17]. Studies indicate that allocating growth resources for extracurricular activity activities is an important means for practicing social skills within a social environment that suits children with LD or ADHD, as it enhances their selfconfidence and offers positive experiences in fields other than academic [18].

#### **1.4 Parenting children with academic disabilities**

Raising children with LD or ADHD is stressful and demanding, impacting the parents' functioning, and in turn impacts the child's behavior. Families may encounter health issues, depression, or stress. Some may incur financial difficulties following private tutoring, therapy, and assessments. Parents may not always be satisfied with the professional support that they receive from the school, teachers, or authorities—sometimes resulting in confrontations. For example, parents of children with LD and ADHD tend to conduct ongoing negotiations with the health and education systems. Others experience social distress due to their child's undesirable behavior [19]. While some parents seek social support from their extended family, research shows that most parents with children with ADHD or LD do not have close or supportive relationships with their extended families and as such are unable to receive significant support from them [13].

For some parents dealing with their children's difficulties is like opening a Pandora's box filled with anger, frustration, and feelings of failure following their own personal experiences at school. After years of denial, this encounter with their children's disability results in a range of unnamed and unfamiliar feelings. At first, parents may not even be aware of the relationship between their own experiences and those of their children [20].

#### *How Frustrating It Can Be? Raising up a Child with Learning Disabilities DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.112293*

Parents are expected to raise and educate their children while preparing them for their future roles as adults—as authentic, autonomic, independent, and responsible individuals. As defined by Galon and Cohen ([21], p. 161), "The role of parents is to reduce risks and increase possibilities." Parents of children with LD or ADHD, therefore, may find their role to be exceptionally challenging and difficult [22]. Parents' responses to their child who is encountering difficulties may include acceptance/rejection; control/submission; warmth/hostility; involvement/distance; and controlling/providing independence [23].

The unexpected appearance of LD or ADHD on the family's agenda forces parents to confront content that is not always positive and that they would clearly prefer to ignore or leave untouched in a hidden corner. Some parents even say: "School was hard for me too… I couldn't read or comprehend complex texts… I was expelled from school because of bad behavior… and look at me now – I have a great job, a great marriage, and none of that interferes with my success" [10].

Prior to a professional assessment, parents may feel that something is wrong with their child's natural development, as they notice significant difference between that child and other—especially when excelling in some skills while struggling with others [24].

Barkley [25] suggests that parents of children with LD or ADHD go through stages, until they find a system that suits their needs or expectations. At first, parents believe that their children's behavior is a cry for attention, and as such—the parents responding by ignoring them, hoping the decrease the severity of the problem. Later, as these undesirable behaviors continue, parents tend to give orders and instructions—hoping to control their children's impulses. Next, when parents feel frustration and despair, they add consequences, threats, and later—punishments. At this stage, parents often feel that the need to give in, give up, or intervene.

In some cases, parents notice their children's difficulties but are unable to decipher them. At first, these difficulties may only appear within the family setting, yet over time, they begin to expand into additional environments [26]. As reality steps in, parents may feel guilt, anger, pressure, shame, and disappointment—especially when they compare their own children to their peers. Others may react with denial. In her research, Einat [27] found that as LD and ADHD are not a visible disability, they do not automatically encourage the support and assistance of others, and may be regarded by others as less severe or problematic than visible disorders [28].

When children perceive their parents' negative attitudes toward them, they respond accordingly—leading to an undesirable cycle of negative interactions. In turn, the children's self-esteem begins to diminish, responding toward their parents in anger and disappointment.

In summary, LD and ADHD within the family setting often upsets the delicate family balance and existing patterns, in turn making parenting more difficult [28]. That is why parents often feel a range of emotions toward their children and toward their parenting capabilities [29].

#### **1.5 Coping mechanisms**

The past few years have seen an attempt to decrease difficulties among parents of children with LD and ADHD, promoting healthy interactions between the parents and their children. Intervention programs, for example, aim at helping parents adopt certain cognitive behaviors that will promote their relationship with their child, while enhancing their day-to-day interactions. Such interventions also aim at helping parents deal with the social, environmental, and medical challenges that they face [30].

Studies show that intervention programs may enhance the parents' perceptions of their own capabilities, in turn enhancing their belief in their own ability to efficiently manage the broad range of tasks and situations that stem from their role as a parent. With the help of such programs, parents learn to take care of their children in the long run, and despite posing intellectual challenges, these programs have also helped parents decrease their feelings of guilt, depression, negative thoughts, and even conflicts with their children [31]. Research has also shown the importance of parental guidance, thanks to its long-term benefits for the child within the familial, social, and environmental cell. Benefits include making progress at school, less need for special education, a decrease in school dropout rates, and an improvement in the child's capabilities [32].

Studies show that parental involvement in their children's school is important when dealing with LD and ADHD, as reciprocity between the parents and the educational framework has a significant impact on these children [26, 33].

Positive relationships contribute to the development of the emotional, social, and academic skills of children with LD or ADHD. Negative relationships such as conflicts between the educational institution and the parents, on the other hand, harm these skills [34, 35].

It seems that most literature on children with LD or ADHD deals in addressing the children's needs. Yet few examine the subjective experience of the parents and the challenges that their children's disabilities pose for them as parents. As such, this study aims at examining the difficulties that are encountered by the parents.
