**2. Gaslighting during the pandemic**

At the start of the pandemic in 2020 doctors knew very little about COVID-19. The CDC symptom guidelines were short. Doctors initially believed that a person with COVID-19 had to have a fever and a persistent cough to have COVID-19 [4]. Today we know that the list of COVID-19 symptoms is extensive [8]. We also know that a COVID-19 infection can cause post-COVID (also referred to as long Covid, chronic COVID, long-term effects of COVID, post-acute COVID-19), which is a post-viral condition where symptoms last 4-weeks or longer [8]. Currently there is no clear definition of long COVID, because COVID-19 is such a diverse illness, that manifests differently in each person, but researchers are working to change this [11]. Science has taught us that both adults and children can get long COVID [12]. The acute infection of COVID-19 does not have to be severe to get long COVID [13]. There are also people who have milder forms of long COVID and do not realize that they have long COVID [14]. For example, people who lost only their taste or smell, or people who only get headaches, and have no other health complaints. It is suspected that COVID-19 wreaks havoc in the mitochondria of immune cells and since mitochondria is paramount for cell survival this is one of the reasons why we can observe such devastating effects to health [15]. It is thought that long COVID patients have damage to blood vessels and nerve fiber damage [16], and this is harmful to all systems within the body, including the gastrointestinal and respiratory systems. It is also a possibility as to why in severe cases of long COVID exercise is excruciatingly painful. Science has found that long COVID causes brain inflammation, and it is one of the first viruses to break the blood brain barrier [17]. The neurological impacts of COVID-19 are profound, and it impacts cognitive ability. It is important to remember that people with long COVID have damage to their body that can cause unbearable pain even if medical tests or blood tests are not picking it up. The pain experienced by long COVID patients is unbearable. An increased risk of suicide exists in this population, and many have experienced psychosis [18].

When I became ill with COVID-19 during the first wave (March 2020), I never had a fever and never had a persistent cough. Given this, doctors did not initially believe that I had COVID-19. This made an already stressful medical situation even more horrendous. I was told by one doctor that my problems with breathing must be due to anxiety. Doctors tried to make me believe that my illness was all in my head. Since doctors could not ascertain what was wrong with me, they used mental health as a deflector instead of admitting that they did not have an answer for me on how to get well. In my case, it is true that I had anxiety, but my anxiety was not the reason I could not breathe. The fact that I could not breathe because my oxygen levels regularly dropped to as low as 60%, was the reason I had anxiety during my breathing attacks.

When COVID-19 raised my glucose levels, I was told by a doctor to watch my diet and exercise more. In essence I was blamed for my new-onset of high glucose levels, instead of the doctor connecting that the elevated glucose levels could be triggered by COVID-19. A few weeks later reports were published that COVID-19 can cause diabetes [19]. Further, the recommendation of a reformed diet and more exercise from the doctor was absurd, given that I was experiencing severe respiratory problems and post-exertional malaise. The doctor dismissed my issues and tried to make me believe that my health problems were my fault. The doctor assumed that I had a poor diet and did not exercise as the reason of why I now had elevated glucose levels. The doctor was treating me from a biased perspective instead of examining my entire patient history. What I experienced by this doctor and several other doctors both male and female from all varying racial and ethnic backgrounds is a term called medical gaslighting. Many people who initially became ill with COVID-19 during the first wave had an extremely hard time being believed by doctors when they presented with COVID-19 symptoms to emergency rooms. Unfortunately, dismissal and disbelief by doctors is still happening to this day. In some countries long COVID is not even recognized as an illness. A report out of Africa shows that even though doctors believe in COVID-19, patients and doctors are not recognizing the illness long COVID [20]. This is also happening in Trinidad and Tobago. Patients are being dismissed by doctors, and doctors are focused only on treating the symptoms without ever addressing the elephant in the room (i.e., long Covid).

When a person makes another person question their memory or perception of a given situation this is referred to as gaslighting. Internally I knew that prior
