**7. Discussion**

In all three contexts, individuals face the chronic stress that comes with great daily uncertainty. Lack of resources and capacity to earn a living were challenges in all three contexts. One difference is that in Palestine, there is a constant imminent threat of violence, mostly from the Israeli armed forces. This leads to extremely high stress levels and challenges to parenting.

Similar in all contexts are parents' desire to make the best choices for their children and their families along with seeing the importance of education. Parents want their children to learn and have greater opportunities in the future. Resettled individuals face unique challenges, yet often have more choices about how to lead their lives than those in the camps. For individuals in the camps in Greece, they are in a state of perpetual limbo, not knowing their prospects for relocation. This poses unique challenges to parenting as it is extremely difficult to sustain a future orientation/vision. In Palestine, the camps have been established for such a long time, that it can be difficult to have much hope for their circumstances to change. Greece and Palestine respondents are still living in camps whereas the U.S context is one of final resettlement.

In the US, parents shared stories of how they had to contend with the hegemony of what best parenting is. The refugees resettled in the US shared feelings about being seen as deficient and having to hide their parenting values. Societal hidden agendas wield power in determining what is "best" for their children and felt pressure to assimilate to US culture. In all the field sites, reports that children did not obey their parents as the parents obeyed their parents were reported. However, in the US, children felt pressure to be accepted by school and society. Parents reported their children came home with ideas contradictory to their home culture (regarding things such as tattoos, piercings, talking about reproductive health and displays of intimate relationships in public).

A common theme in the Greece and Palestine camps is boredom and lack of purposeful play or work. Children do not have spaces to play and run and be children and camps lack infrastructure to provide enriching childhood experiences. Families resettled in the US sometimes, but not always had more opportunity to find purposeful work. Unemployment and underemployment were common themes in all three sites. The camps however, pose a greater challenge to establishing

#### *Stories of Struggle and Resilience: Parenting in Three Refugee Contexts DOI: http://dx.doi.org/10.5772/intechopen.103827*

and maintaining the predictable routines that can be a protective factor in child development. In contrast, resettled individuals can establish routines, but feel the fast pace of U.S. life does not leave time for more traditional familial activities.

In Greece and the U.S. individuals carry a greater sense of guilt as they have left loved ones behind. Additionally, many individuals in the Greece camps expressed a sense of self-doubt and guilt, wondering if they had made the right choice for their family. As their lives are in limbo, it becomes impossible to determine whether the sacrifices they made were worth it. A unique challenge parents in Greek camps discussed is the tension with host countries and local resentment of resource allocation. In the US, refugees feel social isolation and National reports suggest that 50% of the people in the US are resentful and empathetic at the same time [65]. In all three cases, the feelings of social isolation, the need for mental health, parenting support, and purposeful work were reported as strong patterns.

While ample literature documenting refugee experiences exists, work explicitly focusing on parenting in refugee contexts is scarce. Our work is an initial contribution to the fields of Early Childhood Education and Parenting. By understanding the nuances of different refugee experiences, we can develop evidence-based policies and procedures to foster resilience in future generations.

## **8. Resilience and recommendations**

#### **8.1 Understanding and removing barriers**

Marope and Kaga [66] assert that disadvantaged families generally require multi sectoral support to cope with sudden changes in their circumstances. Such support is made possible through the collaboration of various agencies addressing inequities which cause diverse vulnerated situations related to housing, health, welfare, family support, employment, and education. Key supports include: overcoming language and communication barriers, mental health, access to education, purposeful work, access to professional development, and learning English. In the US, a main recommendation is providing pathways to education and career advancement that is not contingent on immediate mastery of English. For example, bridging opportunities in the U.S where access to higher education is scaffolded to include the use of the parents' home language have shown to be extremely beneficial. To make a more significant impact, agencies must provide more opportunities and pathways for purposeful work.

"Having the opportunity from the Pamoja program has given me the chance to make friends with other refugees from the Arab world. Also to enter education where I can learn in my own language. I feel like no one understands me and thinks I do not know anything because I do not speak English well. But now I am learning how to take care of children as a teacher and learning English. I can now work in a job that my husband thinks is okay and can bring some money home to pay our bills." (Mother resettled in the U.S.) Ideally refugees' short-term and long-term outcomes are achieved in solidarity, free from discrimination, and with support of language access and justice.

#### **8.2 Mental health support**

Healing-focused interventions help children and parents develop the ability to express and regulate their emotions, improve self-control and self-esteem, recover and build resilience so that they are ready to learn. Building parent and caregiver capacity to assist children appropriately during the early stages of crisis response

and emotional recovery is essential. Refugee families often need support to implement positive parenting practices because they are also managing their *own* crisis responses. Building capacity within the community, social networking, and positive interactions aids healing. Psychosocial intervention programs for young children and their families are vital. Programs that offer storytelling, singing, jumping rope, role-play activities, activities in nature such as gardening and hiking, team sports, music, and the arts, writing and drawing exercises have been shown to reduce psychological distress associated with exposure to conflict-related violence in Sierra Leone for children aged 8 to 18 and their families [67]. Studies in Eritrea and Sierra Leone revealed that children's psychosocial well-being was improved by welldesigned educational interventions for the children and for the adults [67]. One author saw how community-led psychosocial services empower the community through capacity building.

Classes in camps that provide purposeful active learning and engagement for both the children and the parents are beneficial. For example, holding classes outdoors where young children and parents can work and learn together in activities such as weaving, gardening, and storytelling, connect families and strengthen the connections between parents and children. Parents and caregivers benefit from learning about positive child interaction, 'shared and sustained thinking' [68], 'serve and return' [69], and 'sensitive responsiveness' [70]. These strategies nurture self-worth and wellbeing and promote successful learning and socialization. Parents and caregivers affected by emergencies and conflicts, can recover and thrive when supported in offering routine, structure, a sense of normality and a safe space to express feelings. We must acknowledge and value how parents/caregivers are children's first educators and constitute a major influence on the family and child's development.

Britto and Engle, [71] refer to five, interdependent domains of parenting: caregiving (health, hygiene and nutrition-related practice), stimulation (interactions, learning activities, modeling), support and responsiveness (trust, attachment, sense of security), structure (discipline, supervision, protection from harm) and socialization. Importantly, research shows that the quality of parenting and home environment is predictive of later social emotional health, academic achievement, and overall life success. Informal education, adult literacy, primary healthcare, and wellbeing structures are key. Welcoming, culturally sensitive programs that value parents/caregivers are essential to build positive family relationships. In the authors' experience, these are the kinds of services are the least likely to be funded/prioritized despite their immense potential for impact.

#### **8.3 Adequate resources**

Parents and caregivers impacted by war, conflict, and disaster require support systems specifically targeting parenting and caregiving as a public good. This requires public investment, commitment, and leadership. Appropriate policy and program designs informed by refugee parents/caregivers voices are crucial to ensure their unique needs are addressed. Consistent, predictable, quality education can alleviate the psychosocial impact of conflict and disasters, but emergency situations undermine the quality of educational services available to refugees. Shortages of materials, resources, and personnel limit families' access to quality education. In most conflicts, education infrastructure is typically a target for destruction because of the stability and support it provides. Pre-schools and schools are often destroyed or closed due to hazardous conditions, depriving families and children of the opportunity to learn and socialize in a safe place with a sense of routine [1, 25]. "The programs offered in the camp are not enough. They help but we need more.

My children and I are bored. The teachers who give classes here do not teach like they do at home, but at least there is somewhere my children go. I also learn ways to help myself and how to take care of my own stress. This means I can be a better parent." (Mother in camp in Greece)

Individuals working in the camps described the extensive efforts of all stakeholders (charities, athletic clubs, social and cultural centers, public figures) to eradicate negative phenomena, and apply reforms. While these stakeholders are typically under-resourced, one aid worker stated, "We couldn't see the impact yet, but we hope the next generations will. We believe that psychological support for all population segments should always be on the top of the list for any support provided to refugees. We must not underestimate this type of support and its role in supporting our efforts to combat negative phenomena in the camp, and try to overcome the bad demographic, socio-economic reality inside the camp".

Our final recommendation shifts the focus away from the refugees and toward those working alongside refugee population. Teachers must be trained to be culturally responsive and implement culturally sustaining pedagogy [72–74]. Culturally-responsive programs that enact a culturally humble approach can support resilience, cultivate bi-multicultural, bi-multilingual communities and reduce the negative impacts of discrimination and invisibility. Service providers, (health, education, social services etc.) must approach their work with genuine curiosity, humility, and reciprocity if they wish to support healthy family structures where parents impacted by violence, war, and conflict can heal and thrive. As one teacher in Greece stated, "I really like being a teacher in the camp, but the parents want me to teach like they were taught. This makes it hard for me. I need to learn more, I need more support of how to teach, I want to be able to go to school so when I leave the camp, I can teach somewhere else." In resettlement contexts, there is a great need to provide professional development to educators to understand diverse cultures and the lived experiences of immigrants. There is also a tremendous need for highly qualified providers and educators from *within* the refugee communities as well as from host communities. Additionally, these professionals must receive adequate, ongoing support to work in these unpredictable contexts. It is imperative that stakeholders supporting refugees in camps and in resettlement contexts adopt a mindset of cultural humility in which we marvel at the resilience and commitment these parents have to the betterment of their families' lives. Host communities must embrace newcomers with the lens of respect and admiration for all they have experienced. Cultural humility entails internalizing the belief that often host communities have much more to learn than to teach newcomers.
